uncomfortable...
But there is something else. It is a little harder to explain. It is being the "expert" in the place where you really don't know anything. That really makes me uncomfortable. Today, once again, I'm faced with the decision to give advice to a person who lives in an alternate reality from my own. Does that sound rediculous? Unreal? Well, I don't know what else to call it.
The man and his wife are Mozambicans from somewhere and they live in the city of Tete now. We have given the man a job... at the request of a friend who knew what we needed. Now we employ the man... and we are somewhat responsible for the well-being of his family. We would like to insist that the man is an adult and can take care of his own affairs since he receives a fair salary for his day's work. But, it isn't really like that. Yes, he is a grown man and we respect him and see him as an independent adult. Yes, he receives a salary that is fair for the work that he does. But... as the boss, we still have another responsibility to him. Patrão... is a very paternalistic term that we don't really like. I'm the "mother" and Mikael is the "father" of these employees. If we refuse to take on that role, we are somewhat uncaring and rude. So we end up as reluctant foster parents for adults who have lived all their lives without our help. Until now.
Having people looking to you as benefactors, who are willing to do as you instruct them just because you tell them it is right and good, makes me uncomfortable. You see in MY reality, people grow up and want to make their own decisions in life. We seek independence and free will is valued. We look at our peers as independent as well. Our bosses look at us as responsible for our own decisions and the consequences that follow. It's just none of their business what I do with my earnings. I have a responsibility for my family and for teaching my children to be independent thinkers and for eventually allowing them to get on with their own lives. There are rules I follow and there are responsibilities that go along with that. I seek advice from people with experience. Then I make my choices and live with the consequences.
Since I know that my employee doesn't see our relationship as cut and dried as I feel like it should be, I also understand that his request carries weight that isn't as obvious to a newcomer. I understand that my response isn't just friendly advice to him. It borders on mandate. So I have to be careful what I say. I say (from my world) he can choose to follow my advice or not. He KNOWS (in his world) that he has to do what I tell him. I will then be responsible (in his world) for the outcome. Gulp. May I remind you now, I live in his world, not my own.
I didn't come here to make family decisions for near strangers. I didn't come here to potentially hold other people's children's well being in my hands. I came here because I believe everyone has the right to choose his path in life. I came here because I know that the Bible is a valuable guide for everyone on Earth (you may disagree with me, but that is why I'm here at all). I believe that the Bible is only of use to a person if he understands it. I believe that to understand the Bible, it needs to be in a language you understand. I came here to make sure that Nyungwe people have access to the Bible in Nyungwe... so they can read it... make an informed decision to follow Jesus and live a better life in peace with God and man. That's why I'm here.
In the process of living here... at peace with God and man... I find myself challenged with the uncomfortable reality of African perspective. I know I can't really do it my way... and I can't really do it their way. So I seek God's way for us all. This passage from Romans is a good one for me to think about today. I hope you read it and share what you learn from it.
Romans 12
Contemporary English Version (CEV)
Christ Brings New Life
Dear friends, God is good. So I beg you to offer your bodies to him as a living sacrifice, pure and pleasing. That’s the most sensible way to serve God. 2 Don’t be like the people of this world, but let God change the way you think. Then you will know how to do everything that is good and pleasing to him.
3 I realize how kind God has been to me, and so I tell each of you not to think you are better than you really are. Use good sense and measure yourself by the amount of faith that God has given you. 4 A body is made up of many parts, and each of them has its own use. 5 That’s how it is with us. There are many of us, but we each are part of the body of Christ, as well as part of one another.
6 God has also given each of us different gifts to use. If we can prophesy, we should do it according to the amount of faith we have. 7 If we can serve others, we should serve. If we can teach, we should teach. 8 If we can encourage others, we should encourage them. If we can give, we should be generous. If we are leaders, we should do our best. If we are good to others, we should do it cheerfully.
Rules for Christian Living
9 Be sincere in your love for others. Hate everything that is evil and hold tight to everything that is good.10 Love each other as brothers and sisters and honor others more than you do yourself. 11 Never give up. Eagerly follow the Holy Spirit and serve the Lord. 12 Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying. 13 Take care of God’s needy people and welcome strangers into your home.
14 Ask God to bless everyone who mistreats you. Ask him to bless them and not to curse them. 15 When others are happy, be happy with them, and when they are sad, be sad. 16 Be friendly with everyone. Don’t be proud and feel that you are smarter than others. Make friends with ordinary people.[a] 17 Don’t mistreat someone who has mistreated you. But try to earn the respect of others, 18 and do your best to live at peace with everyone.
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