Mother-in-law for a roommate!
Just ask my mom... I'm not that easy to live with! After 5 months living with her in Alabama, we spent 5 months living in England. Now we are spending about 2 months living with my in-laws in Sweden. For some people, this would be a nightmare. For us, it is a blessing with certain challenges! The nice thing about having in-laws in different countries is that they can't compete with each other for your attention. They get your family COMPLETELY each time you come home to them. In both homes we know we are welcome and loved.
Let me introduce you to my mother-in-law: Iréne Bister just turned 70. She can bike to the market and back quicker than I can get the car out and drive there. Irene climbed the windmill hill in England faster than me. She swims in icy water at the lake with my kids and I can barely dip in my toes. She bakes, knits and cleans like a whirlwind! One might feel a little inferior in her presence! BUT, Irene is also kind, thoughtful and understanding. She's always quick to let me know what she appreciates about me and my family. Her encouraging words are a blessing. She is also a former missionary wife and mother, so she has unique insight into our family situation. I first lived with Iréne in December 1996 for three months before Mikael and I were married. I practiced Swedish and learned more family culture than I could anywhere else.
As a guest in her home, I'm pretty sure I do some annoying things. Now my kids leave things all over the place. We eat lots of cheese and we have lots of dirty clothes and the pile of shoes by the front door is 3 times its normal size! Five large suitcases in the front hall aren't a nice addition to any home. Neither is the mattress at the far end of the dining room! But, we are family and we are welcome. As they say here, "Finns det hjärterum så finns det stjärterum." (Directly translated, If there is heart-room, there is "butt-room"!)
While we are stumbling over each other and smiling kindly, I am reminded that being a part of a family isn't always the most convenient thing in life, but it is a blessing non-the-less. Just like my own mother, this woman opened her home, kitchen and life to the inconvenience of having a family of five descend upon her place. Both women have blessed us in so many ways. Mom and I might have been less polite to each other at times... but Mom's love and generosity were just as real. Irene and Arne gave us their bedroom out of love... and practicality - my suitcases can live somewhere more convenient than the hallway! Mom kept quiet about the stacks of papers that needed space on the kitchen desk and many other things. We know we are in the way... and they know that we know we are in the way... it just isn't worth mentioning since there isn't much anyone can do about it. We are family. We look for ways to compromise our preferences so that the other can also feel at home.
This year when money is tight and moving between countries is necessary, we've enjoyed the love of family around the world. Thank you for letting us invade. We might not say thanks enough. I don't think we can actually express the appreciation for what both our families have done for us this year. You know we will take over your lives, you don't complain, and you also know that we really just want to get back to Mozambique at the end of it all! We love you! God bless you!
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| Mother-in-law in Swedish is svärmor -- like "swearmother" the connotations are ancient! |
As a guest in her home, I'm pretty sure I do some annoying things. Now my kids leave things all over the place. We eat lots of cheese and we have lots of dirty clothes and the pile of shoes by the front door is 3 times its normal size! Five large suitcases in the front hall aren't a nice addition to any home. Neither is the mattress at the far end of the dining room! But, we are family and we are welcome. As they say here, "Finns det hjärterum så finns det stjärterum." (Directly translated, If there is heart-room, there is "butt-room"!)
While we are stumbling over each other and smiling kindly, I am reminded that being a part of a family isn't always the most convenient thing in life, but it is a blessing non-the-less. Just like my own mother, this woman opened her home, kitchen and life to the inconvenience of having a family of five descend upon her place. Both women have blessed us in so many ways. Mom and I might have been less polite to each other at times... but Mom's love and generosity were just as real. Irene and Arne gave us their bedroom out of love... and practicality - my suitcases can live somewhere more convenient than the hallway! Mom kept quiet about the stacks of papers that needed space on the kitchen desk and many other things. We know we are in the way... and they know that we know we are in the way... it just isn't worth mentioning since there isn't much anyone can do about it. We are family. We look for ways to compromise our preferences so that the other can also feel at home.
This year when money is tight and moving between countries is necessary, we've enjoyed the love of family around the world. Thank you for letting us invade. We might not say thanks enough. I don't think we can actually express the appreciation for what both our families have done for us this year. You know we will take over your lives, you don't complain, and you also know that we really just want to get back to Mozambique at the end of it all! We love you! God bless you!
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