In my weakness...
Transition is never easy. Change is seldom comfortable. Life is, in essence, a series of changes that necessitate transition of one type or another. Growing and growing up are full of change and peppered with transitions. If growth is seen as positive by our society and our psyche, why is change so dreaded? Why is transition seen as a temporary state?
As missionaries... as an international family... as expats (pretty much no matter where we live) we know transition intimately. How many times have I written, "We will spend the next week or so settling into our new home?" How many homes have we had as a family of five? One. Our family is our home in so many ways. The prospect of dividing up for a month or so isn't as simple as one would expect. When we are together we are home. It has become very important for our kids, especially. In the absence of a fixed house address (or even country of residence) they have substituted people as their home. Me, too, I think.
The past weeks have been very challenging to me personally. Our year away from Mozambique promised to be somewhat disjointed and disrupted. We are half-way through our furlough. The time has come to move on to the next step. We are mentally and emotionally prepared for that. Our mission requires that we raise our own support. We do not really get a salary. We have a quota to aim for and must it meet before we can move on. To return to Mozambique, we need literally thousands of dollars. To take our next step to England, we needed just hundreds. We set our goal of $400 more pledged per month before we can buy our tickets. Then we have to pray and wait and tell of our mission at every opportunity. And... wait.
On Friday, Mikael decided that we needed to take that step of faith and purchase the tickets. "We are going to be together." God will make it work. He knows the deal. We will just follow him. Did we have the pledges we needed?
As I addressed letters and sent out new prayer cards and checked over our lists updating information, I ran across two cards. Each pledged $100. I learned hours later of a couple of pledges that brought us within sight of our goal. God sees! God knows! God led my husband to make the decision, and I shouldn't sit around worrying about it anymore.
In my weakness, His strength is made perfect. In my weakness... His strength... is perfected. I am so unwilling to be weak. I am dragged kicking and screaming into limbo every time. It may look like I'm just fine walking in faith from the outside, but on the inside I'm a fragile follower. I know that everything will be ok. I don't know HOW or WHEN, but it will. Sigh. I just know. Waiting is still not comfortable or easy. I'm not idly sitting there just waiting for the windows of heaven to open. I'm running through every possible thing I COULD do to make things work out right. I only have peace to DO some of the things. Sigh. I am left with waiting on the Lord to show His strength.
He does. Tickets are purchased. Christmas is coming. I need to hurry and buy suitcases that will travel the world. Again. Our home is moving to England for five months. Our family is moving to a village between London and Oxford for a short time. Our kids have places in the school. The apartment is waiting. Katie will have her own room. We will adjust to weather and language and shopping and all. Mikael will go to school. I will see what God has for me as a mom and wife and one piece of a home on the move. Thank you, God for holding us close... always.
As missionaries... as an international family... as expats (pretty much no matter where we live) we know transition intimately. How many times have I written, "We will spend the next week or so settling into our new home?" How many homes have we had as a family of five? One. Our family is our home in so many ways. The prospect of dividing up for a month or so isn't as simple as one would expect. When we are together we are home. It has become very important for our kids, especially. In the absence of a fixed house address (or even country of residence) they have substituted people as their home. Me, too, I think.
The past weeks have been very challenging to me personally. Our year away from Mozambique promised to be somewhat disjointed and disrupted. We are half-way through our furlough. The time has come to move on to the next step. We are mentally and emotionally prepared for that. Our mission requires that we raise our own support. We do not really get a salary. We have a quota to aim for and must it meet before we can move on. To return to Mozambique, we need literally thousands of dollars. To take our next step to England, we needed just hundreds. We set our goal of $400 more pledged per month before we can buy our tickets. Then we have to pray and wait and tell of our mission at every opportunity. And... wait.
On Friday, Mikael decided that we needed to take that step of faith and purchase the tickets. "We are going to be together." God will make it work. He knows the deal. We will just follow him. Did we have the pledges we needed?
As I addressed letters and sent out new prayer cards and checked over our lists updating information, I ran across two cards. Each pledged $100. I learned hours later of a couple of pledges that brought us within sight of our goal. God sees! God knows! God led my husband to make the decision, and I shouldn't sit around worrying about it anymore.
In my weakness, His strength is made perfect. In my weakness... His strength... is perfected. I am so unwilling to be weak. I am dragged kicking and screaming into limbo every time. It may look like I'm just fine walking in faith from the outside, but on the inside I'm a fragile follower. I know that everything will be ok. I don't know HOW or WHEN, but it will. Sigh. I just know. Waiting is still not comfortable or easy. I'm not idly sitting there just waiting for the windows of heaven to open. I'm running through every possible thing I COULD do to make things work out right. I only have peace to DO some of the things. Sigh. I am left with waiting on the Lord to show His strength.
He does. Tickets are purchased. Christmas is coming. I need to hurry and buy suitcases that will travel the world. Again. Our home is moving to England for five months. Our family is moving to a village between London and Oxford for a short time. Our kids have places in the school. The apartment is waiting. Katie will have her own room. We will adjust to weather and language and shopping and all. Mikael will go to school. I will see what God has for me as a mom and wife and one piece of a home on the move. Thank you, God for holding us close... always.
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