Cultural Differences
Take one cookie?
Ask for seconds?
Shake hands or kiss?
In our SIL branch in Mozambique we are a very diverse group. We have about 30 members from "overseas" and colleagues from several African countries. Just this month we have had our "Branch Conference." As part of conference, we planned a cross-cultural activity to understand each other better. We discussed hospitality customs in small groups. What do you do as a host? What do you do as a guest? What about unexpected guests?
I was placed in the "American/Canadian" group. Mikael was placed in the "Swedish/Norwegian" group. We also had a "South African," "British," "Dutch/German," and an "African" group. We discussed our customs and expectations in our groups... and then got together to share our ways.
In Holland, you may be invited for Coffee- just take ONE cookie! Don't ask for seconds. They will probably offer you another treat with a second cup of coffee.
In Germany, you might be invited for Tea (around 3pm) or Coffee (after 4pm)- ask for seconds or you will offend the hostess!
In South Africa, you may be greeted with a kiss on the mouth is you visit an Afrikaner, but NOT if you visit someone from English heritage.
In Sweden and Norway, take off your shoes as you enter the house. Refuse seconds- twice! The third time you can say you want some more!
In England, don't arrive early! If you are more than 3 minutes late, they will wonder if you are coming at all!
In the USA, ask if you can bring anything if you are invited. It is ok to offer to clear the table. It is ok to take seconds, but don't take the last bit!
In Africa, you will probably not be invited. Just stop by. They will ALL greet you formally in the house. They will prepare food for you and you should eat. You will eat alone, most of the time. For them, your visit is an honor and they will give you their very best. If you refuse, it is ungrateful.
If you arrive while someone is eating a meal in many European countries, you should know better! Mealtimes are understood. They might offer you a plate. You should probably refuse.
In America it is hard to just stop by without warning.You usually drive and homes aren't on-the-way to shops. If you stop by, apologize. The host will just tell you if he is busy or is on the way out.
In Africa, they will NEVER tell you if you are keeping them from something important. Don't stay long if you just stop in!
We realized that even people from the same country can have different rules. We also understood why our colleagues do what they do in hospitality situations. We all has a great time laughing at ourselves and how silly some of our habits must seem to others. We also noted how difficult it must be for our kids... living in intercultural environments all the time. They are pretty good at choosing what to do when, but sometimes they just can't guess right! I suppose they learn to pick up on clues by watching YOU! So, if my kids come over, be ready to give them the right cues!
Ask for seconds?
Shake hands or kiss?
In our SIL branch in Mozambique we are a very diverse group. We have about 30 members from "overseas" and colleagues from several African countries. Just this month we have had our "Branch Conference." As part of conference, we planned a cross-cultural activity to understand each other better. We discussed hospitality customs in small groups. What do you do as a host? What do you do as a guest? What about unexpected guests?
I was placed in the "American/Canadian" group. Mikael was placed in the "Swedish/Norwegian" group. We also had a "South African," "British," "Dutch/German," and an "African" group. We discussed our customs and expectations in our groups... and then got together to share our ways.
In Holland, you may be invited for Coffee- just take ONE cookie! Don't ask for seconds. They will probably offer you another treat with a second cup of coffee.
In Germany, you might be invited for Tea (around 3pm) or Coffee (after 4pm)- ask for seconds or you will offend the hostess!
In South Africa, you may be greeted with a kiss on the mouth is you visit an Afrikaner, but NOT if you visit someone from English heritage.
In Sweden and Norway, take off your shoes as you enter the house. Refuse seconds- twice! The third time you can say you want some more!
In England, don't arrive early! If you are more than 3 minutes late, they will wonder if you are coming at all!
In the USA, ask if you can bring anything if you are invited. It is ok to offer to clear the table. It is ok to take seconds, but don't take the last bit!
In Africa, you will probably not be invited. Just stop by. They will ALL greet you formally in the house. They will prepare food for you and you should eat. You will eat alone, most of the time. For them, your visit is an honor and they will give you their very best. If you refuse, it is ungrateful.
If you arrive while someone is eating a meal in many European countries, you should know better! Mealtimes are understood. They might offer you a plate. You should probably refuse.
In America it is hard to just stop by without warning.You usually drive and homes aren't on-the-way to shops. If you stop by, apologize. The host will just tell you if he is busy or is on the way out.
In Africa, they will NEVER tell you if you are keeping them from something important. Don't stay long if you just stop in!
We realized that even people from the same country can have different rules. We also understood why our colleagues do what they do in hospitality situations. We all has a great time laughing at ourselves and how silly some of our habits must seem to others. We also noted how difficult it must be for our kids... living in intercultural environments all the time. They are pretty good at choosing what to do when, but sometimes they just can't guess right! I suppose they learn to pick up on clues by watching YOU! So, if my kids come over, be ready to give them the right cues!
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