My two cents... a history of choosing which beggar gets my money

Mozambique is generally accepted as being one of the poorest countries on Earth. That said, a lot has improved since we moved here in 1996 for the first time. My first confrontation with street begging was in Portugal in 1995. I was torn: Give to whom? How much? How to say "no" and not feel guilty? After living with my uncomfortable wealth and struggling with odd reactions to my giving and refraining, I asked God what to do. To my surprise, He answered. 

In Portugal, I realized there was a 10 escudo coin that would buy a bowl of soup at any corner cafe. It wasn't extravagant, but it was something substantial enough to help someone who was hungry. This wasn't the most common coin in my pocket. It was almost rare. God "said" through a still, small voice in my heart, "Give those to me and trust me with them." I understood that if I had a 10 escudo coin and someone asked me for money, I could willingly give it and trust God to do the choosing. I didn't need to look for people in need; they were all around and asked every day. I just needed to trust God.

Not a perfect system for every situation, but it was a concrete way that I could dedicate something to God and see Him choose the outcomes. He knows that I've given Him the choice and he can control it as much or little as He wants, but I will be faithful to follow through. Here in Mozambique, I dedicated the two metical coin to God for giving on the streets. Same idea: It pays for bread or banana. It is somewhat rare.

I've seen God's funny faithfulness over the years. The FIRST day I renewed my choice to give according to this system I went into town with no 2mt coins. I was surrounded by beggars on the way into the first shop, each one with an outstretched palm saying, "Help me! Help me, lady!" My reply as I walked past greeting them respectfully was, "I have nothing to give now." To my shock, when the guy gave me change for my purchase, ALL HE HAD was 2mt coins... and he poured a pile of them into my hand. I gulped and braced myself for the herd of beggars outside the door. The coins were ready in my fist inside my pocket. "OK, Lord, this is for you."

I pulled back the plastic curtain and smiled at the beggars as I headed towards my car. NOT ONE of them looked at me. NOT ONE of them said a word to me. I was nearly invisible to them. 15 years ago there weren't that many white ladies walking around town; I was used to being noticed. I got into my car with all my 2mt coins feeling confused and a little amazed. That entire day at each stop I was totally willing to hand out money on the street, but NOT ONE of the people I met ever even asked.

In the years since then, I've had times of giving out lots of coins and not giving anything for weeks at a time. That little scene always plays out in my head when I get  a 2mt coin these days, along with another one. A blind man with a 10 year-old child guiding him through traffic and begging at the windows.

"Water, lady, Give me 10mt for water."
"I don't have anything for you today."
"Please just give me something."
"I'm sorry, I don't have."
"Please help."
I see a 5mt coin and place it into the boy's hand stretched to my window.
The boy holds it out to the blind man who feels it.
The blind man promptly hits the boy in the head with a stick.

I feel terrible. What was that all about? Why was the man so mean to the small boy? Somehow I knew it was a reminder to trust God with my promise. I didn't have the small coin so I changed my mind and did what I thought was ok. I didn't really ask God about it, I'm not saying I felt condemnation or guilt about it. It wasn't my fault that the man hit the boy. I am sure that happens all the time, but God let me see that He had been faithfully saving my gift for the person who needed it. Today, it wasn't that guy. I could trust Him to use the 2mt promise.

Today, a 2mt coin isn't worth as much as it used to be. It is only about worth 2 cents; in the old days it was worth about 5 cents. I still have a 2mt rule. Today, I was at the market and a man came up to me and asked to talk to me because he has a big problem. Many people still single out those of us who stand out in the crowd and look like helpful or rich people. My skin still gives me away even when I speak in Nyungwe and know the REAL price of the veggies at the market. He pestered me with a long story about needing 50mt for the bus to go visit his sick mother and something about his wife and lots of stuff. "Sorry, I don't have anything for you today." "Please, just 50mt. I really need it." "Sir," I finally say, "I have promised God that if I have 2mt coins I will give them all to anyone who asks me. God is very faithful. He sometimes give me too many small coins and I must be ready to give them away." He is now my by car and I look into the ashtray where we keep small change. There are 6 2mt coins waiting there. I pull them out and hand them to the man. "God knows what you need, and He saved these for you today. Please trust Him to take care of you." "Thank you, lady."