"We like big..."

I'm always amused by differences in culture. After all these years, I still have moments of surprise thrust upon me. A day last month was a shocker. We laughed out loud at each other. Teacher training events all over the world throw loads of women together. I'm an "along-side" adviser to the presenters. I edit some slides and make sure concepts are getting across to our teachers. I connect projectors and click through the PowerPoint presentation. I'm pretty recognizable and they mostly remember my name since it isn't a hard foreign-sounding one- they are "Djeni" or "Geni" or "Jeny" around here.

Dancing with the teachers... the fun part of the job!

Lunch hour. I stepped in mud and took off my shoes to clean them. "Formadora Jeni, give me your hips!" A younger teacher around 40 or so is admiring me. Her friend proceeds to tell her that she doesn't need mine since hers are big enough. They giggle and want me to turn around. We laugh and I let them know that in "America" we think that fat is not so nice. It is beautiful to be thin. A younger male teacher passing with his lunch box stops in shock as he overhears my comments on American beauty. It is totally normal for him to join in these comments. They laugh together and wonder why anyone could prefer thin over round, chunky figures. I know they are being complimentary, but it's weird to be openly judged by peers. (We judge, we just do it secretly.)

So, we laugh. They are convincing in their approval. I walk away shaking my head. It will be nice to be fairly invisible in my next phase of life. It will be less nice to feel the pressure to drop weight so I don't appear to be unhealthy or lazy and careless. The West is unkind to average-looking, chubby gray-haired ladies. I don't want comments affirming my beauty or refuting my size. I choose to smile. It's for real... because I have a happy heart. I'm tremendously thankful for years in the embrace of this corner of Africa.